Are You Ready for Some Football?

Sheldon: Is that what you’re wearing to watch football at Penny’s?

Leonard: What’s wrong with a football jersey?

Sheldon: Nothing. That, however, appears to be a football cocktail dress.

Leonard: It’s the smallest size they had, except the one for dogs. I can’t believe they had one for dogs.

Sheldon: Oh, yes. Canine football fans are a common sight in Texas. Cats, however, refuse to wear sporting apparel. My sister found that out the hard way.

via Series 3 Episode 06 – The Cornhusker Vortex | Big Bang Theory Transcripts.

I love this exchange between the anything-but-athletic roommates Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Leonard Hofstatter on TV’s “The Big Bang Theory.”  Sheldon does know all there is to know about football, because he grew up in Texas and his father forced him to watch the game all the time, but he’s certainly no sports fan.  I’m not a fan either, and NO: I am not ready for some football.  I could not care less about football, which makes me something of an anomaly in this completely football-mad “Cornhusker State.”  I could also care less about being an anomaly. I would like to be able to avoid seeing or listening to football altogether, but since the airwaves of almost every retail establishment, restaurant and office in the state are filled with nothing but loud cheers, jeers, and play-by-plays on “game day,” I’ve trained myself to tune it out as much as possible. If I have the opportunity, I immerse myself in a book or go visit a garden. Or curl up with one of the cats.  Cats could also not care less about football, or baseball, or basketball, or hockey.

I suppose there are some cats that take an interest in watching the action of a football game on the “big talking box” but I believe cats in general find it all much too noisy, and they certainly don’t enjoy all the boisterous cacophony of a house full of humans who have gathered to watch a sporting event on their humongous-screen TV!  And they definitely do not want to be “kitted out” (as it were) in sporting duds. Dogs, bless them, are always eager to please their two-legged family members, and are even more eager to get in on a game – they really are team players, right down to their DNA! – so most pooches have no objection whatsoever to donning a doggy version of your favorite team’s uniform, because they know it means they get to spend time with the people they love and get all kinds of attention because they’re so cute in their football shirts.  Cats, not so much.  In fact, not at all!

Sheldon tackles Harry in a scrimmage 

This is not to say that cats do not enjoy sports; in fact, our feline friends excel at athletics of all kinds! Aside from their obvious talents in gymnastics, track, and field (balance beam, tumbling, dash, and high jump to name just a few,) some cats also have superior skills that would make them stadium stars on any team.  My Oliver Twist was a champion ball catcher (ping-pong size division) and had truly amazing paw-eye coordination; he could smack a ball across the living room, and surely out of the park if he wanted to! Sweet Sheldon can play offensive or defensive tackle against a much larger cat (Harry, for instance) and he’s got some moves that would baffle the best of the gridiron giants.  And Harry … well, Harry’s probably just the gruff and grumbly coach who stalks the sidelines and screeches at the referee or umpire all the time!

However, athletic prowess aside, my cats are just as content to enjoy the sports of bird and critter watching, and they get plenty of exercise from a spontaneous hundred-yard-dash around the house, so we can get along just fine without ball games. And together, we shall enjoy the truly wonderful things about football season: the arrival of autumn weather, the delicious scents of baking apple & pumpkin pies, and snuggling up in our fleece blankies for a nice nap ’til the game is over!